Borat is my doctor- 4/10/2011

Hi All,

Well, this marks day 5 in the hospital. Since Tuesday, the docs have been trying to piece together why I had this event (that's what they call these heart situations- but don't confuse this event with other events such as a high school reunion or bar mitzvah. Rookie mistake).

In order to solve this mystery, I've given them tons of blood, had x-rays and the other day the docs decided that they wanted to do an angiogram (snaking a wire in my heart to shoot dye into my arteries to look for any blockage). It would be super rare if I had any blockage, but they just wanted to check.

So Friday, they did this newfangled angiogram where they went through my wrist instead of my groin (fabulous advancement in medical technology, I'd say) and everything was clean as a whistle. But to my dismay, I found that they could only snake the wire into one side of my heart. My anatomy didn't allow them to go to the other side. So tomorrow I have to go in for the old school angiogram. Bah. Lousy excuse for medical technology advancement, I'd say.

Another reason I've been here so long is my blood pressure is just too low and my blood is too thin to do the other angiogram. So I've been getting fluids and blood thickeners for a few days, trying to get me ready for the test. I mentioned adding a roux to my IV to thicken up the blood. It always works on soup! They didn't care.

I do have a new doc on my team this time. I'm used to most of the docs here, but new fellows and residents do cycle through the cardiac floor. And this time, the new doc is...Borat. That is the only way I can describe him. He has an indiscriminate eastern European accent, wild curly hair and a moustache, and thinks he's hilarious. Today, I asked when I would have that test tomorrow and he says (with a twinkle in his eye) "Sometime between 7am and 5pm. Hahahahaha!!". After Jerry Seinfeld composed himself, he said "No, just kidding. I have no idea". Oh well, if my doctor can't be well informed, I at least want him to know how to tell a good joke. : )

Oh, as for when I am expected to be able to blow this joint- It's looking like Tuesday.

Alright, I'm going to catch a Sunday nap. Adios!
Love to you all,

No comments:

Post a Comment